You will never guess what I got you for Hanukkah.

What’s not round, not white, not wet, not cold but makes a great Hanukkah gift? Before I tell you that, let me tell you why it is important for you to know. This week we are attending Hanukkah celebrations at a friend’s house. It’s tradition to give simple inexpensive gifts. My gift was not so much about what it was and more about what it wasn’t. Before I tell you what gift I gave, let me answer the other question you might have.

Why are we celebrating Hanukkah? Are we Jewish? No. Is our friend Jewish? No. Ironically, she is part Persian (the area known in today’s world as Iran). Iranian leaders have vowed to destroy the Jewish people. So why are we celebrating Hanukkah with a potential enemy of Israel? Three reasons:

First, we love and support the nation of Israel and long for all Jewish people to know that their Messiah has come in the person of Jesus Christ. Our Persian friend feels the same way. She is also a faithful follower of Jesus and Jesus taught us to love our enemies (Not that she ever looked at the Jewish people as enemies).

Second, we recognize that the land of Israel and the surrounding nations are the historical context of scripture. Being familiar with Jewish traditions and thought helps in understanding the Bible. We have had many opportunities over the years to participate in the Passover celebration and other Biblical “feasts,” but we had not been part of Hanukkah. Our friend’s family have a special God-given love for the Jewish people and have celebrated Hanukkah for years. This year they invited us. We were grateful for the offer.

The last reason is because I am working on the next book in the Special Heroes collection. I can’t reveal too much without spoiling some of the mystery, but I will tell you that my research of the Jewish culture and of the enemies that have attempted to destroy them is important to the plot of this next story.

So, what was the Hanukkah gift I gave? Well it wasn’t a snowball. But it had great potential. My “Instant Snowball Kit” was a Ziploc bag with a small amount of dirt and debris and at least one carefully selected dead leaf. In the bag were the below dubious instructions which I have copyrighted and plan to use to make my million. But now, in a limited time offer, you can have it for free to give at Hanukkah celebrations, Christmas parties, or wait until July and totally dominate your neighborhood in a snowball war. Now you don’t have to miss out on the winter fun even if you live in Phoenix. Just copy the text below and slip it into a bag with the debris. Don’t forget the carefully selected leaf – it’s very important for adding body to your snowball. (please include my website so the authorities will know who to contact.) 

Instant Snowball Kit

(Just add water)

Ingredients: dehydrated snow, natural flavoring, natural color, other natural ingredients. 

Instructions: Remove kit label. Add water to desired snowball size. Seal bag. Shake well. Follow appropriate instructions for below preparation methods.

Oven: pre-freeze oven. (For older ovens; wait until it is freezing outside and move your oven to the backyard.) Place snowball kit in oven for 24 hours (time may vary). Frequently take out the snowball kit and knead bag into the desired round shape. Follow consistency check instructions below.

Microwave: Set your microwave to “freeze” (Note: not all microwaves have this feature). Set time for 10 minutes. Remove, shape, repeat, following below consistency check instructions.

Check frequently for desired consistency (“messy slush,” “exciting firm,” or “deadly hard”). Warning: Your current feelings toward your intended target should be tempered with consideration of your relationship combined with your medical insurance deductible and local assault and battery statutes.

(If no oven or microwave, see www.kentwyatt.org for alternate freezer method.) Kent Wyatt © 2018

Now you can see how I will make my million. Once the Kit becomes wildly popular, people will pay almost any price for the secret freezer instructions.