Wyatt Christmas Letter 2018

Hi Y’all from the land of the Ozarks. It’s time again for that insalubrious literary product called the Wyatt Christmas Letter. (Rebekah says I have to define the big words, or it frustrates people. It means “not salubrious.” Ow! Okay, It’s defined as unpleasant or unhealthy, but I still say they should have to look it up just like I did.) We have many new friends this year, so I need to renew my warning that our “Letter” is more nonsense than news and nothing is sacred except God Himself. Join us in a laugh.

This year has been dominated by work on our novel SEEING BEYOND. As most of you know, SEEING BEYOND is now available on Amazon in both Ebook and print. A big thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, helped with the book, and endured the golden Seeing Beyond eye staring at them from multiple emails and posts. While this story was about a boy who might be seeing God-given visions (hence the eye), the next book in the Special Heroes series is about a young man with autism who has phenomenal hearing. I suggested a large ear on the next cover, but Rebekah went off on some tangent about not wanting our fans to have to spend months searching some dark canal for earwax. “So,” I told her, “I guess just ’cause you chose, the eye that makes it all right to make our readers want to grab a bottle of Visine for the poor soul. Uh oh. Now I’m getting the EYE.

Bigger news than even our book, is that our son Kwinn is getting married. He has found his soulmate in Calista Holmes and they knot the tie (or something like that) in June. Rebekah and I gather around the Christmas tree and finger his little handmade ornaments. We are losing our boy. How will we console ourselves in the face of this shocking realization? Rebekah leans over and whispers in my ear. I nod.

As Kwinn lies sleeping in his bed, suddenly he awakes to a tape measure sliding across his nose.

“What are you doing?” he asks the familiar faces of his parents. 

“Go back to sleep,” Rebekah tells him. “We’re measuring your room to see what furniture we can put in here when you’re gone. But now that you’re awake, we found a nice house for you and Calista. Maybe you can move in early to get it ready for her. ” Rebekah reads, “Private 2 bedroom hideout. Bulletproof glass. Within staggering distance of the casino. No parties after four in the morning. Only edible pets. Must not mind automatic weapons fire. Some clean up required but cold water works well on blood stains. And no more digging in the backyard – the neighbors are getting suspicious.” She smiles at her only son. “Sounds lovely, don’t you think?”  

There were some tears. After all, losing his rent payments will be a big hit on the budget. But we are not losing a son we are gaining a…I wonder if I can convince her it is customary in Arkansas to pay a monthly husband leasing fee?

Calista is a sweet girl. She is finishing her third year in a Christian college art program. She wants to illustrate children’s books and one of her sisters is also a writer. So, forget that boy (the traitor – running off and getting married). I’ll just talk shop with the girls.

Rebekah continues to help my author efforts. Since our writing is mainly a ministry, things have been going well and it has made for some exciting conversations. You know when Rebekah gets excited her words can’t keep up with her. When we put our books out for free, Rebekah noted that they were “going like hot water.” She learned that some of our books were downloaded in Australia and she got excited thinking about the possibility of doing a book signing down under because then we could see all those kangaroos, zebras and kowalabies. We are also entering all the contests again this year. Rebekah noticed that in one of the contests they do not allow a synopsis of the story, so you have to go into it “blind turkey.” I would give you more examples of great Rebekahisms, but that is a whole different “ball of fish.”

I thank God that he has given me such a cute, fun helpmate to watch over all I do. Lately, Rebekah has been worried about me because I have not had a chance to work on my new book. I told her I needed to spend some time on the marketing for Seeing Beyond, but she is convinced I have writers block brought on by derealization disorder. She has been researching ways to bring me back and ground me in reality. I lived through the ice bucket method and the skunk scent therapy, but yesterday I noticed her looking up from what she was ordering on her tablet and I didn’t like the way she was smiling at me. If you happen to see me accidentally share a laughing cat video, make sure you tell Rebekah that I’m working on my novel.

Part of my problem is that while I am working on one book, I keep getting all these other ideas. I have this great story I want to write. It’s about late-night Walmart shoppers who vanish and are later found boxed up and shelved in various parts of the store. When questioned, all they remember is turning around and seeing a barcode stamp coming toward their forehead. The only problem is my editor keeps correcting my title. I call it “The Midnight Stocker Stalker.” See, she did it again.

Once you start the writer’s life, it consumes everything you do. We were driving in Oklahoma and saw an exit sign announcing the towns of “Rose” and “Leach.” I thought “Rose Leech” would be a good name for a character. Until I can put her in a book, I decided to write a poem about her.

There was a leech named Rose ~ Lived down in the “by-yos.”

She was a proper little lady ~ For a leech, you know.

But when she kissed her beau, ~ She couldn’t let go.

I’d write more but Rebekah is shaking her head, looking at her tablet again muttering something about how much amperage our house wiring can take.

Speaking of time consuming, I have had to take stock lately. Since I started networking with readers and other writers on social media my Bible reading and prayer time have been slipping. I had to make a commitment to read my Bible and pray before I look at social media. Lord, please help me keep that vow lest my God given gift and passion become something worthless to me. It is so easy for that to happen isn’t it. We humans can find a way to turn every good thing that God gives into something evil if we don’t keep Him first in all we do. Just like this season. We can become caught up in the festivities and exchange the real Jesus for the plastic doll in the manger. Without the Spirit of God, the traditions and the celebrations are just useless human endeavors. Father, please help us in our weakness.

 I am thankful that Kwinn is marrying a Godly girl, so they can work together to spur each other onto good works.

“Just like us, right, Rebekah?…where are you going with that extension cord?”

Besides getting engaged, Kwinn has also started a new job. He is doing nursing care in people’s homes: more money, less hours, and a snazzy company take home car. New job, new car, new wife- he’s a lucky guy.

What’s the matter, Rebekah? Why are you looking at me like that? What new wife? All I meant was…I didn’t mean I was getting…I don’t want a new…What’s the UPS guy doing here? That’s a big box. What did you…now, sweetie, you better put that thing down. This is how people get hurt. Who locked this door? I don’t think that’s what that thing was made for. Who said anything about a “ball of fish?” Oh, it scales fish too…gotta go folks- while she’s busy turning up the voltage. Merry Christmas and Happy New…oww! I was going to say New Year. Honest.

Have a joyous Christ-filled season and God Bless,

The Wyatts